Adorable Noise Maker Gifts

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Future garbage truck driver.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"Bruh, that is some SERIOUS kazoo."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Bagpipes in the bath.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

The Gong

"Thank you."

French Animal Noises.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

Making noise in the cinema

"Primal scream therapy drawbacks."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

"I can practice a different song."

Musicians.

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

'I play it to kill time.'

'Voila! Pre-plucked turkey!'