Noise Making Gifts

"Thank you."

"The dawn of music. Hey! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

'I play it to kill time.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Bagpipes in the bath.

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'Teenage Beethoven.'

French Animal Noises.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Making noise in the cinema

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"Primal scream therapy drawbacks."

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

"I can practice a different song."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

Musicians.

'This is my little brother -- He believes in freedom of screech.'