Noisemaker Gifts

"What have you done?!"

Future garbage truck driver.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"Bruh, that is some SERIOUS kazoo."

Bagpipes in the bath.

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

French Animal Noises.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Thank you."

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

The Gong

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"Primal scream therapy drawbacks."

Making noise in the cinema

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'