Noisemaker Gifts

"What have you done?!"

I'm not harassing people, officer. I'm just blogging out loud.

Future garbage truck driver.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"Bruh, that is some SERIOUS kazoo."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Bagpipes in the bath.

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'Teenage Beethoven.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

The Gong

French Animal Noises.

"Thank you."

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

Making noise in the cinema

"Primal scream therapy drawbacks."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'