Adoptive Parenthood Gifts

Parental Training Course

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Ahhh...'

A midwife holding a baby

"She's been so creative lately."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Knight feeding his kids.

Rocking horse

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Foster failure

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"When did she start crawling?"

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'