Adoptive Parenthood Pillows

Parental Training Course

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Ahhh...'

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Low-Energy Drinks

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Rocking horse

Foster failure

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Knight feeding his kids.

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"When did she start crawling?"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"