Becoming Adoptive Parents Pillows

"We're so excited. I'm hoping for a Chinese girl, but Peter's heart is set on a Native American boy."

'...run that by me again...I'm ADOPTED !?!'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Ahhh...'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

The cell phone soother for life.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Interior design trends for parents....

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Feel free to take notes."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'The child is very illogical'

"That's not how I sat on you."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."