Becoming Adoptive Parents Mugs

"We're so excited. I'm hoping for a Chinese girl, but Peter's heart is set on a Native American boy."

'...run that by me again...I'm ADOPTED !?!'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Domestic Superheroes!!

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Ahhh...'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Interior design trends for parents....

"Feel free to take notes."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'The child is very illogical'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.