Adoptive Dad Gifts

"We've been admiring your fathering techniques."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Ahhh...'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Foster failure

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"He's such a fussy eater."

Raised by Dogs

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'I demand a DNA test.'

Doughboy Dad

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"That's mine!"

Dad Trophies

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"They look so young and helpless."

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

"Of course you like like your father and me. What did you expect?"

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'