Adoptive Dad Gifts

"We've been admiring your fathering techniques."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Ahhh...'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Foster failure

Raised by Dogs

"He's such a fussy eater."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Brad Pitt

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Dad Trophies

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"That's mine!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Doughboy Dad

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'I demand a DNA test.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"They look so young and helpless."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'