Ace Holder Gifts

'You're cheating! That's the same ace I've got up my sleeve.'

Whack-a-molecule

'He lived and died for golf.'

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

Giant Birthday Cake

Life Is Just A Game

'I hear the Met office is predicting further Arctic weather conditions.'

"I had some upsetting news today… 'Fish gotta swim, Birds gotta fly'."

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

He took every chance to practice his talk.

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

"I had that James Herriot bloke in the back of my cow the other day..."

Whac-a-Virus.

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

Because of the hike in fuel prices, several road users have returned to steam powered vehicles.

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'

'Sudden death?'

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"And now, dear, I’m going to hum annoyingly and see how you like it."

Speeding in a video game

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''

'I'm sorry, Catherine, but my feelings for you have changed since you reported me for stealing cable.'

"Classical guitar hero"

Know when to let it go.

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

'Gah! If you want a job doing...' - 'This is more like it.'

Royal Flush

Dance Mania video game gets damaged from a heavy user who exceeded the weight limit.

"So there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can think of giving up the New Year apart from your peanut collection?"

'I don't hold grudges... that's why I have lawyers.'

Acebook.

'Not only can you pick out your own lobster, they also let you name it after either your boss or ex-spouse.'