Accounting Amusement Gifts

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Sheep Ledger

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

'What I called creative recycling the school called plagiarism.'

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

Take a peek 50¢

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

Lunch break.

Home Business - Accounting Software.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

Hidden away, deep in the woods, Bob enters a number in the wrong column. An isolated mistake.

"Pick a file, any file." Dr Collins ability to put nervous patients at ease was legendary.

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"And, who is this Alice Chalmers that you've started spending money on?"

Extreme Accounting!

"Why are these machines so uncomfortably close together"

'Bills in dog hours...7 times more expensive.'

Accounting Dept: Red ink

"As your accountant I'd advise you to hunt, gather, and invent the tax shelter."

In a perfect world, bean counters would only count beans.

Viagra Island