Amusement Gifts

"Why are these machines so uncomfortably close together"

Tricks for Little Boys

Take a peek 50¢

Escalator Turns Into Slide

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Zoo.

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

The Rooster Comedian.

Champagne

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

Television Readers.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Cow Show Tunes

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Cord cutter

"Bloody hell!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

The First Fire Stick