Cartoon Amusement Gifts

"When we lay someone off, we try to make it a pleasant experience for them."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Houston, we have a problem."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Emergency Phone.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Recalculating route..."

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Sloth 10K.

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

The Goalkeeper