Cartoon Gifts

'As my mentor, I sometimes question the advice you've given...'

'He's hearing impaired.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Credit is a wonderful gimmick that lets you start at the bottom and dig yourself into a hole.'

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

For the 5th time in as many nights, Herb is awakened by his restless-leg syndrome.

'Will you stop placing these obstacles everywhere?...'

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

"Old people in Hell"

'I don't know who those Cybers are, but I'm ready for their attack!'

Lethal Drops of Alcohol.

Virgin Mary reads card: 'SORRY! The Angel Gabriel called to bring you glad tidings of great joy, but you were out.'

"We have to move our teepees? And when did we join an H.O.A.?"

'Try doing something constructive this summer, like going out and capturing some of your school clothes.'

'How goats see the world.'

Fearing insurance rate increases if he had another accident claim, Dave tries a new harness system.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Encumbered by low self esteem, Raymond takes a job as a speed bump.'

'My name is Rudolph and I am an alcoholic.'

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

Actual vs. imagined response.

"I'm sorry, all the emergency services are busy at the moment - please hold."

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

Man sweeps dust under carpet and small man sweeps it out.

"Just as I suspected. These things make everything louder."

Stork Delivering Fish

'Did you hear that? I hope the mice haven't returned.'

Rugby player scores with boot but not the ball.

'The patient in room 2070 is looking too comfortable. Go give her a shot or something.'

NHS waste.

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

"Bloody Hell Famine! Was that your stomach?"

'Tragedy struck when Larry, the druggist, mistakenly filled the prescription with RED capsules.'

"We're Beatrice."

'Careful there, Mort, that's bleach. You don't want to get any of that on your clothes.'