Comedy Cartoons Gifts

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'Have you tried turning everything off and on again?'

'When I wiggle my leg like this, I get a pain here.'

Patient examines qualifications: Well Okay...go ahead.

Mummy, Mummy: Tim's piece of cheese doesn't have as many holes as mine...

'Wow, that guy must work out a lot. That's it, if I'm going to get a girl like that, I need to start working on these buns!'

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Houston, we have a problem."

Horror movies

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Emergency Phone.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

The Goalkeeper

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'