Cartoon Amusement Pillows

"When we lay someone off, we try to make it a pleasant experience for them."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Recalculating route..."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

Emergency Phone.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

The Goalkeeper

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"