Accidental Horticulturist Gifts

Impractical Gardener.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

Priest watering his wings.

The Garden of My Heart

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

A woman has mini scarecrows in here flower garden.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

Gardening Angel.

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

Man Gardening Love

"Drawing blood again?"

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

Bonsai Gardener

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

Gardening Angel: MANNA.

Clowns tending lawn.

Sowing love

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

Earthing Up

"Have you been talking to the flowers again?"

What's Going On Here? We are repotting the Geraniums of Mrs Beverly Seidel which we backed into with our maintenance trucks despite her repeated warnings....