Accident-prone Comedians Gifts

Road Rage in the Afterlife

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'This is your lucky day!'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

Athlete

Cotton candy

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Occupation?'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'I do love you, but anything you say, ever, will be remembered and may be used in evidence against you.'

'Don't get involved.'

Please Don't Ask...

Computer cables as fire ladder.

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'The hook was too dangerous.'

"You don't need a mask, I filled it with hand sanitizer." (man swimming in a pool, inviting in another person who is wearing a mask)

"Don't worry. The mechanic says he can fix the car as soon as he gets it out of the wall."

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'