Accident-prone Comedians Pillows

Road Rage in the Afterlife

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'This is your lucky day!'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

A Not So Grand Slam.

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

Athlete

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Spawn of Satan on board.

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Occupation?'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

"Well done!"

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'I do love you, but anything you say, ever, will be remembered and may be used in evidence against you.'

Please Don't Ask...

"What are you lookin' at? Never seen a routine fire drill before?"

Computer cables as fire ladder.

'Don't get involved.'

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'The hook was too dangerous.'

'Look dad! - Mercedes bends!'

"Don't worry. The mechanic says he can fix the car as soon as he gets it out of the wall."

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'