Absurdist Philosopher Gifts

Nonsense Poem

'I'm here to repossess the lawnmower.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Crab with a clown face.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Nikolai Gogol

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

"I can't wait to post this."

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

Post Post

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

Closed Thursdays.

"I'm afraid the only thing we have in your line of work at the moment is a bingo caller in Milton Keynes."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

G.K. Chesterton.