Absurdist Analyst Gifts

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

Glance Exchange

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Crab with a clown face.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Nihilistic customer service"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

Nonsense Poem

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

"I like fountains very much!"

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Nikolai Gogol

Man guarding a written border.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!