Absurdist Reader Gifts

Faecebook Fly.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Crab with a clown face.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Extreme Sisyphus

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Boomerang cow.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Nonsense Poem

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Franz Kafka

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Nikolai Gogol

D. H. Lawrence

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'