Absurdist Thinker Gifts

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"Mocking the system means beating it!"

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

The world will end tomorrow! - "Do I look crazy? I lend you ten bucks...the world ends...and I never get ten bucks back!"

'Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time throwing batteries at seagulls?'

Shrinking beggar.

Crab with a clown face.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Nonsense Poem

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

Nikolai Gogol

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

Cakeless.

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"I can't wait to post this."

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