Zipline Fanatic T-Shirts

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Night of the Zombonies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

'DO you know what time we start here?'

Working from OM.

'No, Igor, not Phillips head...Flat head! Flat head! Bring me the flat head!'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Oh, the amenity!'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"There's no need to howl at every moon we pass by."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

The Filibuster.

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

'Please, pay attention.'

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'