Zero Hero Gifts

Now hiring numbers wonks to keep track of all the zeroes.

"He was a very good boy."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

Museum. They were an ancient culture that worshipped the concept of zero. "Nothing" was sacred.

Like father like son.

'Thank you for not guessing.'

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

'The fed lowered interest rates today for everybody with hair...'

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

'Let me know if the fan bothers you...'

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

Woodwork

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

A man working on a model airplane

My favorite hero? Amelia Earhart. Is she like Catwoman? Amelia Earhart was a real person. Not like your Bat-Dans and Captain Lanterns. A real hero doesn't complain when a mischievous young lass siphons off gas from her plane. He's called Batma – What? A real hero silently pats that lass on the head, climbs into her plane … and takes off into the wild blue yonder … without even a single mention of how that young lass may have also stolen her compass. I'm also a fan of the brave Max Pruss, who onc

'I must warn you: I'm a level 85 Death Knight!'

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

"Era un gato grande... Que hacia ro ro..."

"I'm going to call it zero."

"I used to love the sight of zeros."

Catwoman // Cat Lady

"Any side effects aside from ringing in the ears?"

COP26

Healthy eating centre - keep off the grease.

'Sorry I'm late, but I'm actually driving one of these things.'

'I was bald by 30, invested the money saved on haircuts in the market, and retired at 50.'

"Honey, you're home."

"Stand still, for God's sake, we're trying to give you a kiss."