Off-key Hero Gifts

"Era un gato grande... Que hacia ro ro..."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

Introverted Chair

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

Now hiring numbers wonks to keep track of all the zeroes.

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Blue-Collar Workers

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

"A bunch of friends are coming over to stare at their phones."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"You monster!"

Nelly Copter

'I hate networking.'

"No thanks. Our ducks have already been cleaned."

Three Pointless Things to Do This Week: Break into a sweat/Search for the Hero Inside Yourself/Toy with the Idea of Leaving Your Husband or Wife.

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

Job Safety - Valves.

"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."

Forty years in the City and never once was I headhunted.

Covid fatigue

"If you don't know the difference between their and there, your a fool."

JimmyFest 2006