Zen Master Foodie Gifts

Dinner at the Zen Diner.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Yoga with Baby

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

FAQs.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"First you make a roux."

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'