Zen Master Gifts

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"I'm just expected to land on my feet."

With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

"...He's in a meeting with himself."

Anti-stress Class

"Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions instead of jumping to them"

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'Why are you always so bloody reasonable?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

'It's either this or a heart attack!'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

If not completely satisfied, loosen up a little!'

'I can't shake off the feeling that you're more enlightened than I am.'

'I'd like it too, but do you realize how hard it would be to get a mobile home up here?'

Zenboni

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

'You act surprised.'

"The question isn't what you did this summer. It's how you felt about what you did."

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

Benedict puts his stress management course to its ultimate test. 'I won't crack, I won't crack...'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Hoarder."

In the name of the natural law

"Do you think about religion much?" "Now and Zen"

'And this is Ziggy, our stress management consultant...'

'No, you're not developing a third eye - it's just a zit.'

I give up - What do you spy with your third eye?

Relax.

Amongst the rush.

Yoga at home