Zen Master T-Shirts

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"I'm just expected to land on my feet."

With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

"...He's in a meeting with himself."

"Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions instead of jumping to them"

Anti-stress Class

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'It's either this or a heart attack!'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

Zenboni

If not completely satisfied, loosen up a little!'

'I can't shake off the feeling that you're more enlightened than I am.'

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

"The question isn't what you did this summer. It's how you felt about what you did."

'I'd like it too, but do you realize how hard it would be to get a mobile home up here?'

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

Benedict puts his stress management course to its ultimate test. 'I won't crack, I won't crack...'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Show off."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

"Hoarder."

Yoga at home

'Our material is great -- we just need a wider audience.'

Working from Om

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"The concept is simple. People call in with questions on existece and reality , and you respond with total silence."

'Remember, my son -- the longest journey begins with a single slither.'

"Do you think our brains ever get full?"

Man mows his lawn while a tsunami looms behind him.