Zen Masters Gifts

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

If life is a river, what are we doing up here on top of the mountain?

Cleaner hoovering under levitating guru.

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'Scram! -- I don't endorse candidates!'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Yoga with Baby

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

FAQs.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'