Zen Foodies Gifts

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Dog yoga

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"Fresh pepper?"

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"First you make a roux."

Working from OM.

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Namaste."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Zen Litter Box

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Zen Master Huineng

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'

Ignorance and Bliss

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

He's been like that for hours - I think he's binge meditating.

It's a new year, little buddy. What are you going to do to make the most of it? Throw out the old to make room for the new. Very deep, little buddy. I'm a deep person. If the big-screen tv I got on Black Friday is a whole month old, I'm Zen enough to just breathe ... and let it go, on eBay. Want to hear my Zen mantra? Luckily, I stopped listening 30 seconds ago.

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"