Zen Snacker Gifts

Meditation Munchies

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Breakfast surreal.

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You complete me."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"It's a map to the vending machines."

'Because it's there!'

'Why would you need GPS? Have you suddenly forgotten how to get from the couch to the refrigerator?'

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

'I don't mind if I spill vegetables, but I hate it when I spill dessert.'

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

Honest Vending Machine

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!