Sink Snacker Gifts

"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Cookie Thief

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

Supermarket Aisles.

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Don't lie to me

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

Eating in Heaven.

Burger Discus

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

Patisserie: He'll never know.