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"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Cookie Thief

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

Supermarket Aisles.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

Eating in Heaven.

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

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