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"Dad, what is a meal?"

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

The wonderful world of cheese.

Rage.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Super Heroes.

"Trail mix?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Love is when you watch television together.