Sideline Snacker Gifts

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Beer Order

"The bagels are better in New York."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Breakfast surreal.

"You're the sport on my telly"

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"We grind our own catnip."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

"There's nothing like ballpark sushi."

Supermarket Aisles.

Usher

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Football today

'Leftovers...! Leftovers!'

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Seven Layers.

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'