Yuletide Rebel Gifts

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

Santa does a keg stand.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

December Fest

"I'm the designated driver."

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

The night after Christmas.

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'I hate Christmas!'

"I'll be glad to see the back of winter - I'm sick of having to wear so much on a night out."

Prisoner sunbathing in his cell.

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'

"Can I just have a bowl of frosted cocoa marshmallow puffs?"

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'Rudolf?'

Anarchist rebel teenager has eaten all his advent calender chocolates (isn't he naughty).

Boy Clause

'I booked a table for one under the name of Narcissus.'

Little Marjorie in Delusionland

Gracie makes a snowman out of dead leaves.

'For the last time, I cannot make it to your family's Christmas gathering tonight.'

December Assurances

Where’s Santa?