Yuletide Rebel Pillows

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Santa does a keg stand.

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"I'm the designated driver."

The night after Christmas.

December Fest

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

'I hate Christmas!'

Prisoner sunbathing in his cell.

"I'll be glad to see the back of winter - I'm sick of having to wear so much on a night out."

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

"Can I just have a bowl of frosted cocoa marshmallow puffs?"

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

"No thanks. I'm celebrating 'No Shave November'."

'Rudolf?'

Anarchist rebel teenager has eaten all his advent calender chocolates (isn't he naughty).

Little Marjorie in Delusionland

Boy Clause

I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.

'I booked a table for one under the name of Narcissus.'

'For the last time, I cannot make it to your family's Christmas gathering tonight.'

Gracie makes a snowman out of dead leaves.

Where’s Santa?

December Assurances