Holiday Meal Rebel Pillows

"Can I just have a bowl of frosted cocoa marshmallow puffs?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Stuffing the turkey.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"Fridge-to-table"

If you don't mind, we'll work through lunch...

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"