Holiday Season Rebel Pillows

I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Christmas Tree

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Ninja bread men"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

Christmas Pets

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'