Yuletide Philosopher Gifts

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa School.

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Xmas Labour Shortage

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

Santa's elevator

'Well it was a pretty good year.'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"Mom, if nothing in life is free, how do you explain Christmas presents?"

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"And this is where the magic happens."

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

Santa is not welcome amongst the Magi.

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

"I don't care what your teachers taught you about moral relativism. In my world there's naughty and there's nice."