Youthful Curmudgeons Gifts

Victorian Children's Party

A boy acting suspiciously

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Whatever!

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

Last day of school.

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

I HATE STUFF

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

'Who gave you that black eye?'

"Working with the elderly can be challenging... They can be bad tempered and curmudgeonly. I never ask him for anything until he's had his nap!"

'Sunnyside down.'

'I'm not here!'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I'm 66 years old: and I going to be as crabby as you? - Rolf. *Actual reader letter. Rolf, this is really a sad, unfortunate letter. It seems unlikely you can ever achieve any reasonable level of crabby if you're the kind of loser to send such a whiny question. Great crabs are born, not made! Guy probably won't even make a decent curmudgeon. Not sure that's what he's hoping for.

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"Even your sleep is curmudgeonly."

'Society of hermits'

The Post Of Christmas Present

"Another p**s and vinegar?"

'Yes, that's our founder. He posed for that on his 80th birthday.'

"Working with older people is part of the job!"

Desk Bins of a Curmudgeon.

"Hello. This is Dial-a-Grump. What the hell do you want?"

Kid in the A & E because his hand is stuck in his piggy bank.

I say, Billy, 'ere's a gipsy! Let's 'ave our fortins telled!

Curmudgeon Man