Curmudgeon Vibe Appreciator Gifts

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

The Old Time Television Channel

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

Born to be Mild.

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"He's So Your Type."

Easter Bonnet

I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents

'Don't touch him. He's grandfathered in.'

I HATE STUFF

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

Victorian Children's Party

"Whatever she wants, she gets. She's the only one who knows her way around a computerless office."

'I never watch educational television. I guess I'm old fashioned. If I want to learn something, I listen to the radio.'

'It's a newspaper! Brought it online for me dad's birthday. Apparently it's the forerunner of the tablet!'

'Kids today and their crazy fashions, eh!'

Un-Hip-Flask

'I'm not here!'

Endangered species stamps

Grover Washington Jr.

Never Satisfied.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I'm 66 years old: and I going to be as crabby as you? - Rolf. *Actual reader letter. Rolf, this is really a sad, unfortunate letter. It seems unlikely you can ever achieve any reasonable level of crabby if you're the kind of loser to send such a whiny question. Great crabs are born, not made! Guy probably won't even make a decent curmudgeon. Not sure that's what he's hoping for.

"There's old Fuchburg's harrumph. Right on time."

'Sunnyside down.'

"Working with the elderly can be challenging... They can be bad tempered and curmudgeonly. I never ask him for anything until he's had his nap!"