Curmudgeon Club Member Gifts

I HATE STUFF

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Niche Extracurriculars

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

Pole Vaulting Club

"Everyone says I'm crazy and avoids me because I don't panic despite of corona, climate change or inflation. . ."

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Things can only get worse...

I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents

Uncle Murray Weekly

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'

Great party - thanks.

Victorian Children's Party

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

"Rule one of Fart Club is everyone follows through in this Fart Club."

'We play in the cat protection league.'

Girl Guided Missile

Cheeses Christ

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I'm 66 years old: and I going to be as crabby as you? - Rolf. *Actual reader letter. Rolf, this is really a sad, unfortunate letter. It seems unlikely you can ever achieve any reasonable level of crabby if you're the kind of loser to send such a whiny question. Great crabs are born, not made! Guy probably won't even make a decent curmudgeon. Not sure that's what he's hoping for.

"Working with the elderly can be challenging... They can be bad tempered and curmudgeonly. I never ask him for anything until he's had his nap!"

'I'm not here!'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"Even your sleep is curmudgeonly."

'Sunnyside down.'

'Society of hermits'

The Post Of Christmas Present

Potholing Club has pothole as entrance.

Lurking Men's Club