Youth Sports Coach Gifts

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

'OK, now let's switch places.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Football Fans

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Go team!

"I AM at my usual position."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Punt Cake

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

The trauma of losing.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Snooker Golf.

Saving a Heart

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

The best PE teacher in the World.

Personal conker trainer.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Cricket Accidents.