Sports Coaching Gifts

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

Gareth Southgate

'Let him stay, coach. He couldn't find his team's locker room.'

Fabio Capello

Chess Trainer

'Hold everything. The coach is texting in a new play...'

Joachim Low

"Maggots! That's what ya' remind me of! You've gotta want that fish head."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Go team!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Punt Cake

'Another football scholarship offer?'

The trauma of losing.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"I AM at my usual position."