Sports Coaches Gifts

"Anyone got a toilet roll?"

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

'Tennis Nets.'

"I'm telling ya the hare is a big fat liar! I don't do steroids!"

Doping in Skiing

"Course I touched him on the hip - it was a scrum and we're on the same side!"

The True Achievers.

Doping

Medals subject to drugs test results

"These drugs in sports are tearing the game apart."

'Do I go to your place of work and criticize you?'

'...Baseball bats, gentlemen, are sacred objects. We do not dress them up in doll clothing.'

Bloody good player, but talk about injury prone!

Fantasy Steroid Baseball.

'Bit late to find out you're a pacifist, ain't it?'

"As expected... the call goes in for Scissors."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Go team!

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Time Is Money