Sports Coach Gifts

John McEnroe

Rugby scrum with a 'Meeting in Progress' sign.

"Want to know what I think?"

"I told him to do that."

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

Canadian Hockey

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"So, what can I do for you?"

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

A fellow participating in many activities and everything is fine until someone bumps his car and then his back hurts,

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

'You never did say you were sorry.'

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

"Are you sure you used human growth hormone?"

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'Brian was dropped from the team after picking up a nasty leg injury.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

'It's a note from your players, coach. It says they are very - no, 'extremely' sorry for losing the game, and can they please come out now.'

'Excellent swing. Wonderful form. Beatuiful followthrough...too bad you missed the ball.'

'Hurry!!'

"Hang on, I think we've got a Ring Ding here."

'Excuse me, coach - but are we the hugs or the kisses?'

"I hope you like sports metaphors."

'Well, I don't know if it's the greatest. But it's definitely one of the greatest seesaw battles I've ever witnessed.'

'We're going back to basics...This is a football.'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

"That ought to shut my mother up."

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

Mono wheel without brakes.

'When do I learn to slamdunk?'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

Post race drug test.