Coaches Gifts

I like the Jets...I guess

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

Table Tennis ball-boys

"Okay everyone come and get your helmets and pads - players' sizes on the left, parents' on the right."

'So in hindsight, maybe not the best idea...'

"That's not the motivational reward I had in mind."

Team

Sports Interviews are Stupid

Lazy Slackers Marathon

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

'...Meanwhile, in the Catholic division, Divine Mercy throttled Eternal Peace, while Good Shepherd was mercilessly pummeled by St. Francis.'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

French football explained - 50p.

'Where did we get this new goalie?'

A pole vaulter has jumped and upon coming down the pole got stuck through her pants.

'It's not a finish line it's a trip wire.'

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'We've closed this section down. In all the time no-one has ever tested positive.'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

'Thanks for the coaching, the tears did the trick: My parents bought me a mobile phone!'

Thank you for not ruining the integrity of the game.

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"You're right, the England squad are taking a long time in that scrum"

"If they want it so bad, maybe we should just give it to them."

"Detends-toi, relaches-toi, il n'y a pas de raison que tu ne retombes pas."