Professional Coach Gifts

"What do you mean it's not 'Thong Thursday?'"

"Have you considered the potential advantages of having a professional coach?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Others will fight for you

Reach for the Star.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Go team!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I hate performance review season."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I AM at my usual position."