Youth League Star Gifts

"This is outrageous! I demand to have it! Right here, right now!"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

When travel soccer leagues get out of control.

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

Soccer Uniforms

"Congratulations, your baby is a footballer...!"

"You participated the hell out of that tournament."

'You're that close to going to the minors. Relax.'

"So who are we playing today? The Giants?"

'Don't be nervous, Connor. Dig in at the plate, keep your eye on the ball, swing level...and if you strike out, just throw your helmet and blame it all on the ump.'

'I want to turn pro right away, but my stupid dad says i need to finish fifth grade first...'

'My dad won't let me take steroids until I'm seven.'

'The boys kicked me off the team, not cause I was a girl, cause I was too good!'

'It's really your fault for not keeping your window open.'

"What's more important to my success as a child, Dad - improving my batting skills or your dumb ol' window?"

'I'm holding out for a $1 million signing bonus, plus product endorsement perks.'

Mickey's on fire at the moment.

"Coach says I'll never make it to the majors. My spitting and scratching need a lot of work."

Foosball: Youth soccer version.